St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony La Russa was roasted at the Annual Dinner of the St. Louis Chapter of the Baseball Writers’ Association of America on Sunday night.
Among the featured speakers were actor/musician Billy Bob Thornton, college hoops coaching legend Bobby Knight, former Cardinals pitcher Steve Kline, Detroit manager Jim Leyland and Cardinals broadcaster Mike Shannon. The latter two were most tame in their remarks, though Leyland demonstrated a strong singing voice.
The audio (what isn’t censored) will air on KMOX Radio 1120 on Monday night at 7:00 P.M. Central. (The station offers free internet streaming.) FOX Sports Midwest will also be telecasting a one-hour version of the event starting on January 28.
A good time was had by all. There were many awards and positive comments all evening long, but the focus here is on the shots issued during the La Russa roast portion of the program. Here are some of the highlights.
Channel 2’s Martin Kilcoyne took the stage early on. Among his zingers.
- TLR does have a sense of humor. Have you seen some of his lineups?
- Bob Costas thought the La Russa roast was last year. (reference to 2010 dinner remarks)
Billy Bob was next.
- The actor and Cardinals fan asked for and received 10 seconds of silence. He announced it was in honor of TLR and Dave Duncan’s personalities.
- Knight threw Thornton’s chair off the side of the stage in mock anger.
Kline had the sharpest barbs.
- The lefty noted he is the opposite of TLR’s animal rights advocacy, saying, “I’m a killer, not a saver.”
- When the name Barry Weinberg came up, Kline looked under La Russa’s table for the long-time trainer and TLR confidant.
- He suggested that La Russa “does great for animals. It’s people he sh**s on. Ask Scott Rolen or Ozzie Smith.” (Thanks to Dathan7 via Twitter for helping me fill this in.)
- Kline commented that the manager likes cats, except one. “The only pussy you didn’t like was J.D. Drew.”
- The former reliever noted the skipper is such a hard worker that he sometimes sleeps in his office, and even in his car. When Shannon says “Get up baby,” he is calling TLR at 3 A.M.
- In TLR’s next job, he can’t be a Santa since he can’t stand kids. “See what he did to Brendan Ryan.”
The General took the floor.
- Knight received a fake call from Post-Dispatch columnist Bernie Miklasz, who passed on his regrets as he was attending a Bobby Cox dinner instead (see photo).
- Dusty Baker made a pretend call to Knight with this message for TLR. “Screw you.”
- Knight explained his hunting hobby is a humanitarian effort to spare the country from being flooded with bird poop.
- In his retirement, Knight volunteered to be TLR’s driver, but decided it would be no fun. He would have no one to talk with since TLR falls asleep at every light.
- The coach admitted he doesn’t care for cats, but he does like dogs. “They point at birds for me to shoot.”
La Russa fired back.
- He noted that Thornton, who had lobbied to suit up and throw a pitch for the Cardinals, had a better chance of getting Rex Ryan or Ozzie Guillen to play him since they apparently have the personality he doesn’t.
- TLR said the idea of Kline teaching pitchers (as a minor league coach for the Giants) scares the hell out of him.
- The manager noted that Kline was too dumb to be afraid on the mound.
- La Russa thanked Knight for his “outstanding” help in anger management and media relations.
St. Louis Baseball Co-Men of the Year Adam Wainwright and Albert Pujols were last up.
- Wainwright praised TLR’s decision-making, like when he was taken out of the game with a chance to win his 20th game two years ago. La Russa then passed the pitcher a note suggesting the comment made his opening day starting pitcher decision between Wainwright and Chris Carpenter easy.
- Pujols took a shot at Post-Dispatch writer Joe Strauss who had presented him the same award the last three years, but was noticeably absent Sunday. “He’s not here because he is writing about my contract for tomorrow.”
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falling asleep in his car seemed to be a popular subject. At least we know the PC police weren’t out in force.
Loved the JD (Brittle) Drew comment by Kline.Never has a player done so little while paid so much in a career.
The jokes seem uninspired and mostly unfunny.
Maybe TLR is such a boring kill-joy, people other than Kline are afraid to truly roast him.
Kline teaching pitchers scares me too… he must have worked with Wilson and Romo on those beards.
It may seem scary on the surface, but the Giants have drafted pitching well, and have at the very least done no harm while developing them. Last time I checked almost all of their pitchers were homegrown, or acquired by trade while still in the minors.
They like Kline’s work enough to keep him around so he doesn’t scare them.
The beards are part of the take no prisoners persona the pen has developed in SF.
MM — Do you think Kline is teaching them how to flip off a manager from the bullpen? That’s pretty ‘take no prisoners’… huh?
Bernie on Pujols.
http://www.stltoday.com/sports/columns/bernie-miklasz/article_e34a1ce7-bbaa-52a5-b4cd-d31fa8be2b5f.html
Colby is concerned about Albert as well.
http://register-news.com/sports/x1221292650/Cardinals-come-to-town
I don’t usually care for Bernie’s stuff, but he is on the nose here. I think both sides are playing this badly. Just git er done and shut the **** up.
Take a look at what I posted on the main site earlier… Won’t give you warm fuzzies…
What are they waiting for, the right phase of the moon? For God’s sake just do it.
BDW III saying a team record deal will be offered can only mean that no offer at all has been made so far. They wouldn’t have offered less than the Holliday deal and and anything more would be a team record. No wonder Lozano lit a fire under them.
Poor Bernie has been working too hard. He’s taking the easy route, spluttering about all the reasons Albert should get paid big bucks for years because of stuff he’s done in the past, rather than talking about what he might reasonably be expected to do in the future, and how much that’s worth.
He talks about Albert being the best player in baseball, which is true. But he doesn’t mention that Albert wasn’t the best player in 2010, which is also true, and current. Nobody talks about that. Except, presumably, Bill and Mo.
Kline being the only roaster who actually played for TLR I’m not surprised his were the sharpest barbs. I’ll bet he was glad to get it out of his system and be able to do it in public as well.
Maybe they’ll let you speak at the next TLR roast, crdswmn, and you can also get it out of your system… publicly!
Except I wouldn’t be joking.
TLR was actually pretty sedate last night.
How many bourbons did he have?
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer… (sorry, couldn’t resist the GT&TDD reference).
Crdswmn-bordering on obsession?
BW–Freud you ain’t. Stick to cheerleading.
Crdswmn-Try doing something besides sharpening your knife or your tongue every time somebody brings up LaRussa.Have your stonings and lynching parties elsewhere.IMO you got a freaking problem.
Stoning and lynching are so 20th century. Be a little more hip in your accusations dude.
We all have problems BW. I’ll make you a deal. I will go see a therapist about my TLR problem if you go to one about your anger and defensiveness about criticism of TLR. Perhaps we can get on the Dr. Phil show.
A TCN Blog week at the Dr. Phil show idea could be so good for ratings. We’d have to put CC and HBT up last, though, or they would take up the entire time.
We’re going on Jerry Springer!
I’m bustin’ a chair over your head, dude!
Who? You? Maybe you and your toothless wife who happens to be your half sister/niece from your dad’s affair with his sister in law.
Don’t talk about your mama that way… son/nephew/brother…
Brian — A perfect title for this article would have been… ‘Tony La Roasted…’
Where were you when I needed you?
Crdswmn……..you appear to be auditioning for the role of Dorothy in our upcoming production of a BW favorite…………The Wizard of Oz.
Pot meet Kettle………..Kettle……Pot.
Crdswmn-You throw your stones.It seems to be what you do best.
Oh no, I do many things better.
My goodness ………………………………………….. what a world we live in…………
Darn, I knew I should have renewed my Rotary Club membership.
http://www.newstribune.com/news/2011/jan/18/la-russa-takes-questions-rotary-club-luncheon/
My good lord I’ll bet this was entertaining.
Boy it sure appears for the battle lines to be forming in this Pujols deal and I like it.
First we have the, “we’re not gonna negotiate in the media” quote.
Then we have Mo come out and tell everyone that Albert gave a firm deadline that he will not negotiate past.
Then Albert makes a snide remark that he will not discuss the negotiations and that you will need to go ask the cardinals if you some inside info.
The a Dewitt comes out and says that the cardinals will make a record setting offer to Albert.
Now I read where cards fans are starting to turn on Albert on the message boards.
Oh the cardinals and their PR leaks.
I am getting tired of the whole thing. I have been pretty cranky lately and this isn’t helping. If Albert meant everything he has said and the Cardinals make an offer between the 27-30 mil range, he better take it. On the other hand if the Cards lowball him, then the fans will be turning on them. I say a pox on both their houses.
Crdswmn-Cranky………………not you!!!! Just kidding a little.
I believe it would be fun to be Albert and have teams slobbering all over you for a little while. Albert can still sign with St. Louis in the end if he chooses but he will get to be Lebron and get to be hollywood for a short time. What can that hurt?
In the end he will stay imo. Me myself, I would probably go somewhere where I would contend for a World Series Title every year. I don’t believe that would register in a top 10 of things Alberts ranks high though.
Bernie read my mind with his article. There is nowhere else Albert could go where he would get free reign like he does in St. Louis. My goodness, he makes the rules here and does just what he wants. It doesn’t get any better than that.
The team in St. Louis should be at the worst a .500 ball club so he will technically be winning every year while he puts his stamp on baseball and becomes Stan number 2.
You may have to listen to the BS a good while longer Crdswmn but I believe you will be satisfied in the end as Albert will be in the saddle here in St. Louis for years to come.
Crdswmn-i think both sides will work it out.It would benefit both sides.Talentwise,teamwise,PR wise.
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