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Top Ten Reasons Why Kyle Lohse Doesn’t Want to Make a Fourth Rehab Start

Despite shaky results to date, St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Kyle Lohse isn’t happy about having to make another minor league rehab start.

Kyle Lohse (AP Photo/Jeff Roberson)As many St. Louis Cardinals fans have heard, pitcher Kyle Lohse has been rehabbing from May forearm surgery, working up his pitch count in a series of minor league starts.

Despite dropping down to Double-A for his third start after two uneven Triple-A outings, Lohse continued to struggle. In total, the 31-year-old has a 6.75 ERA in 12 minor league innings.

Following his most recent outing in Springfield on Thursday night, during which he allowed 12 hits and five runs in five innings, Lohse proclaimed himself ready to go. One explanation the pitcher offered for the all the runs on the scoreboard was the preparation of the baseballs, stating he should have brought his own with him.

Agreeing with most sane observers, Cardinals pitching coach Dave Duncan doesn’t feel Lohse is yet ready to return to the majors. As a direct result, Lohse has been asked to make a fourth rehab start. It will likely be this coming Tuesday at a park to be determined, instead of him getting the ball against Chicago on Friday night as had been projected.

In a terse discussion with the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, an unhappy Lohse made it clear he does not agree with his coach’s decision.

In the spirit of David Letterman and with some help from our readers, we offer the…

Top Ten Reasons Why Kyle Lohse Doesn’t Want to Make a Fourth Rehab Start

10. No reserved spot to park his Bentley at tiny minor league stadiums.

9. Hey, at least all the home runs were only solo shots.

8. He then gets stuck buying another ping-pong table for the local team.

7. All the travel interferes with his tee times.

6. The food is far better in the major league clubhouse and there are many more places to avoid reporters.

5. It’s not like Jeff Suppan and Blake Hawksworth don’t get shelled, too.

4. Just be happy he didn’t pull a Brad Penny and take three months off with pay.

3. Doesn’t want to drop down to Palm Beach in hopes of looking good against hitters.

2. He will have to bring his own balls with him.

And, the number one reason why Kyle Lohse does not want to make a fourth rehab start…

1. Four years, $41 million guaranteed with a full no-trade clause.

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Brian Walton

Brian Walton runs The Cardinal Nation and The Cardinal Nation Blog, covering the St. Louis Cardinals and minor league system.
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